What I want to do and what I actually do

I want to wear a turquoise sleeveless top with a white skirt and matching bangles. I want slippers in my feet and open hair. I want to walk as light as the air is. I want to feel the breeze in my hair and take it in. I wanna run more free than the breeze itself.

What I actually do, I actually sit in this black and white trouser and t-shirt with a frown for jewelry feeling trapped inside my own body. As if someone is trying to strangle me. Unable to move a muscle, unable to feel a thing. 

Funny, what I want is easy as anything, what I actually do sounds so hard. For me, what I want to do is so much harder. I feel like a someone just sentenced me to jail. 

The worst part is, I was in a manic state trying to do what ever I can to make myself feel good and took some amazing Photos. Guess what, still feel crappy.

I do live the easy happy life. I wish to not be miserable. I wish to cry so hard every time I smile. I wish to not fall down so bad after climbing. I wish to feel normal…