I am NOT always Bipolar !

So the days have been quite confusing to me now. I don’t feel depressed but I don’t feel good at all, its a lot of confusion. I feel like a bit lost. I was thinking the other day how am I supposed to explain the things that irritate me and the things that are just bipolar related? Most important of all, how do I explain it to others. In my other post, I did write about how hard it was for me to explain that a reaction is not always logically thought of, it is just my brain going loony, but what about other things than my reactions? What about my feelings?

I do like taken care of and you know honestly with a brain like mine, care is needed. Do I need that care every time? I don’t think so. Sometimes I am actually mad at something. I am actually pissed off. Its not bipolar every time. It could be that I am a human with actual feelings and besides having this awful bipolar, I do “feel”something that is just perfectly called for. I have stopped trying to tell things that actually hurt or irritate me because I don’t want other to think that I am crazy. I just take it all inside me.

At times, I don’t need someone to come to me and ask if “Bipolar Zeph” is fine. I just need someone to ask if “Zeph” is fine. Zeph can be mad about something and not be all bipolar on it but she might be perfectly logical on it. Seems like being bipolar is too much, feels like it is becoming my identity.

As much as it is true for what happens to me, it is same for what I do. All my actions, good or bad; are not because I am bipolar. They are because I choose them. Sometimes I do good and awesome things in the day with out being hypo-maniac. At other times, I could be a bi***, not because I am bipolar-ly irritated, it’s because I am one.

I am not always bipolar. I don’t need to be asked again and again, if i am okay. Also, I need the care because when it is bipolar I need it the most. How do I tell if bipolar is being me or I am being myself?

The question I leave here is, being straight forward and admitting that you were a bi*** and other times stating your bipolar is acting up, the best solution to clear things up in a relationship? Or will I just mess it up?